446 Days and Counting

I wanted to breastfeed.  I knew that it would be healthier for baby (and me) and that it would create an amazing bonding experience.  Plus being a SAHM would make breastfeeding an easy option for me.

When Little Bear was born, I was lucky - He took right to nursing!  He latched from day 1 and hasn't given up since...

446 Days Later...  We are still nursing.

Now don't get me wrong - I wouldn't change a thing!  It is healthy, it is natural, it is a bond.  But 446 days is a long time.

Initially I wanted to breastfeed for a year and everything seemed to be pointing in that direction.  At ~11 months, Little Bear began self weaning.  By his 12 month well baby visit, he was down to nursing once a day, when he first woke up.  I figured that after we got the okay for cow's milk, that we would loose that final feeding and that would be the end.  Obviously, not the case.

At that 12 month visit, the pediatrician was a somewhat concerned about Little Bear's weight gain.  She wanted me to start giving him whole milk but also (if it was okay with me) to continue offering breast-milk.  Of course I agreed and began offering him additional nursing times before each nap.

Well now Little Bear as decided that nursing is great!  And whenever he feels the desire, he will wiggle himself into position and start pulling up my shirt...  Needless to say, this is not my favorite public behavior.

Little Bear goes for his 15 month well baby visit in less than 2 weeks.  I am thinking that following this appointment I will try and start the weaning process again.  But it is such a difficult decision!  I love that I am able to provide this nutrition, bond and comfort to him but I am ready to get my breasts back.  I am ready to wear normal bras and put on sun-dresses.  There is also the issue of social acceptability.  Socially (according to many people), he is getting too old and independent to be nursing.  Pulling up my shirt in public is NOT acceptable.  Plus I worry that the older he gets, the more difficult it will be to wean him.

So what to do?  Well, I guess that I'll wait and see how he does at his well baby visit.  Hopefully he will be gaining weight and I can start weaning.  If not?  Well, I'll deal with that then.  In the meantime, tomorrow will be day 447.